relationships Archives

holding hands depicting best relationship app

WeConcile®, A Relationship App, User’s Guide

June 12, 2022September 25, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

WeConcile is not only the best relationship app, it is a tool for living. You can immediately change your focus, calm your swirling mind or your intense emotions. You can engage your thinking brain and gain new skills. You can learn and evaluate what needs to change and how to do it. Imagine a world of relational learning and tools at your fingertips. Imagine access to the science of love and information that the greatest minds in psychology have discovered and made available.

the child before becoming an emotional abuser

The Emotional Abuser

January 2, 2022September 11, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

We don’t start as little children wanting to be abusers. We often don’t even like how it feels to abuse. But somehow, somewhere, something happened.

Loving Kindness in a Relationship

March 6, 2021September 11, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

When I was a teenager, I threw a hammer at my sister, narrowly missing her head. Now, all these years later, I cannot remember what we were fighting about. What I do know is that when I was younger, I had terrible wounds. These wounds, such as feelings of being ignored, pushed around, not heard, not cared about, etc., caused me to at times to erupt.

Loving kindness is incredibly important in our relationships. It means we have an active interest in others, we are friendly and open hearted. We have good will and want the best for our partner and others.

How We Make Love, Not War: In Each Other’s Care

October 28, 2020March 15, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

How do we make love, not war? All couples are in each other’s care…whether they know it or not. Unfortunately, couples often struggle with this basic principle of creating a happy relationship. Why? What is going on? Andy and Dot Let’s take an example. Dot and Andy are moving in together. They are both successful […]

happiness in marriage depicted by pair of white swans

Getting Ready for Mr. or Ms. Right

December 31, 2019September 21, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

Getting ready for marriage or a relationship Are you waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right? Are you in a relationship you want to improve? Perhaps you are getting ready for marriage or a relationship? You can learn more about how to create your best relationship. The science of love helps us understand what is needed […]

A Shift in Perspective

August 21, 2019July 29, 2020Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

Learn to love depicted by Intimate couple sitting together

The Real Relationship: Working it Out – Learn to Love

July 18, 2019September 21, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

The real relationship happened last night. I had been struggling, feeling stuck, pushing myself in ways that were leaving me frustrated, angry, and sad. My husband was mad at me for this. He pulled away and let me struggle. Finally, I said, “Why aren’t you helping me? Why have you left me alone in this?” […]

learn how to save a relationship and relationship help

Untangling Love

July 12, 2019July 29, 2020Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

In my family, love was hidden under other agendas. Learning how to truly love (both self and others) has been a life path for me.

It became my life’s mission – to help others escape what I had escaped; the pain of the past, the pain of wounded relationships and broken dreams.

I Didn’t Use To Be Good At Relationships

July 11, 2019November 19, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

I remember as a kid being upset and walking away from our home. Thoughts swirled around in my head. Never get married, never have kids. Never get married, never have kids. Over and over like a mantra. I don’t remember the incident, but ours was a violent household where fighting was frequent, and empathy rare. […]

The Journey of Improving Our Relationships

July 5, 2019September 21, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

Reaching Our Goals For A Relationship How does having a significant illness relate to being in a relationship that doesn’t work? How do we take that understanding and apply it to improve our relationships? How do we reach our goals for a relationship? In 2016, when I was struggling with Lyme disease, in desperation, I […]

Finding Our Rainbow: A Great Relationship

May 30, 2019February 14, 2020Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

We can connect with the blessings of our lives and make our lives and relationships even more beautiful.

relationship goals depicted by picture of a couple

Learning to Reconnect

April 1, 2013October 6, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

It had started like a regular day weekend day. John and Patti were taking a walk. The sun was shining. Life was good. But then, John sheepishly told Patti that he would not be working on a project they had told Patti he was going to do, and that had been planned for that weekend.

Goals for a Marriage

September 14, 2010September 21, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

Lets look at couple therapy, which is a pretty complex process. As a client in couples therapy, we must learn enough about ourselves (among other things) so that we can untangle a bunch of behavior that simply does not get us what we want: an accessible and responsive relationship. We supply the courage and tenacity on the road to mastery of this challenge, but we need more than motivation, creativity and desire for this purpose. We also need a map.

marriage rescue depicted by two hands touching

Marriage Rescue: When Love Stops Working

July 18, 2009September 25, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

When relationships stop working, there is often a wound that needs to be attended to. Many of us grew up in homes with various kinds of disconnection occurring. Whether our caretakers were preoccupied, angry, needy or impatient, we may at times have felt uncared about. We may have lost someone we loved, or have been completely disregarded or abused. As children, we had to survive this pain. We may have learned to push our feelings out of our awareness. Ultimately, we developed ways to tolerate and survive these disconnects. These are the survival techniques that we have brought into our current relationships. And they often don’t work.

Tools to reduce couples fighting depicted by a Couple holding hands

How To Stop Those Repetitive Fights

May 18, 2009January 29, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

George had been very upset about the actions of an ex friend. Susan could feel his pain and asked him if there was anything that she could do to make him feel better. George replied, “I could think of something”. Susan retorted, “I wasn’t talking about sex”. George responded, “So what’s new?”

How to make a relationship last depicted by a Couple with lasting love walking down boardwalk

How to Make Your Relationship Last

January 18, 2009November 6, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

Making love last is a concern for anybody with a relationship history that has included disappointment, pain and loss. How do we do it differently the next time around?

What starts for so many as a blissful connected loving state often turns into sadness riddled with problematic behavior and seemingly un-resolvable conflicts.

Fixing relationships, girl in white dress desiring emotional courage.

Embracing Emotional Courage

December 18, 2008November 13, 2023Jennifer J. Lehr, LMFT

How do we change the direction of our lives? Despite our histories, why do some people create fulfilling lives for themselves while others do not? As a therapist, and as a person who has made her life about self-transformation and then later, the transformation of others, this is easy to see. But for many people, especially those who do not know much about “therapy,” and the process it entails, this is more of a mystery.