happiness in marriage depicted by pair of white swans

Getting Ready for Mr. or Ms. Right

Last updated on September 21st, 2023 at 02:12 pm

Getting ready for marriage or a relationship

Are you waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right? Are you in a relationship you want to improve? Perhaps you are getting ready for marriage or a relationship? You can learn more about how to create your best relationship.

The science of love helps us understand what is needed to have happiness in marriage or a relationship; the specific awarenesses, skills, and capacities that are required. Choosing to learn about what makes love work and applying yourself gives you a much better chance at a great relationship. As you learn, grow and change, you will attract a new kind of love.

My history

Relationships have never been easy for me. The family I grew up in was stressful and infected by violence and abuse. I had little trust in others. And I didn’t have a relational skill set. I was afraid to stand up for myself. I didn’t know what I deserved. I was hungry for love, and that hunger drove me into and out of relationships.

After a series of significantly flawed relationships, I eventually did get married in my 30’s. I had fallen in love with a man who I felt was good, stable, and didn’t seem to have any alcohol or drug problems. He, of course, also grew up in a dysfunctional family and also had limited relational skills.

We hit roadblocks early. My husband saw me as nagging and weak. I saw him as judgmental and angry. We struggled for years. We didn’t have happiness in marriage.

One day I woke up and just knew. I was finished. It was time for me to move on.

We had gone to couples therapy for a number of years. I had been massively involved in therapy, therapy training, learning about myself, and changing. I was not the same person who married my husband 11 years previously.

This very challenging relationship was part of the catalyst that caused me to grow – to outgrow, actually, that marriage. Without my difficult relational beginning, and without the struggles of my subsequent relationships, including that marriage, I would not have developed my relational knowledge and skill set. There would have been no reason to learn and change.

Those difficult beginnings and the pain I experienced in relationship to others, caused me to dig deep. I wanted more. I was not willing to accept less than a supportive, wonderful and deeply loving relationship.

Eventually, I remarried. My second marriage is entirely different from my first marriage. It is supportive, happy, secure, fun, with good emotional connection.

The Magic Cake

My 2015 book, The Magic Cake: The Seven Ingredients of a Relationship-Ready Person takes much of what I learned on my quest to be a fully relationship ready person – and puts it in an easy to read and understand book.

I share with you my struggles and insights. You’ll learn about how people sabotage their relationships. You will learn how people can move out of these self-defeating behaviors and into a fulfilling relationship or marriage.

You’ll learn about each of the 7 essential ingredients of a person who is ready for a satisfying relationship or ready for marriage, and how to actualize them.

These ingredients are:

  • Safety
  • Accountability
  • Empowerment
  • Compassion
  • Vulnerability
  • Insight
  • Magic

Without the development of these qualities, you will most likely struggle in your relationships or marriage. These qualities will change your ability and your partner’s ability to have a fulfilling relationship.

In The Magic Cake, you will be guided to determine what you need. I’ll help you learn to create a new vision and to set a new intention and support it as you grow. You will explore where your wounds and challenges are. I’ll help you with self-evaluation, so you know what you need to tackle. You will learn the how to’s of developing each ingredient in yourself, and what to look for in a partner. There are exercises to help you actualize your vision. You will be ready for marriage, or a new relationship, and the fulfillment of love.

A map guides us on a journey. The Magic Cake will guide you on your journey to the relationship of your dreams.

Available on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Cake-Ingredients-Relationship-Ready-Person/dp/0996386009

For more relationship and marriage insights, check out some of my other articles. Here is Intimacy in Marriage: Building Better Intimacy.

For even more resources, you can take a look at the top 100 relationship blogs here.


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One thought on “Getting Ready for Mr. or Ms. Right

  • January 1, 2020 at 9:22 am

    I like where you are writing from and where you have been. I appreciate the ministry you bring to others through your vulnerability and courage.


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