Last updated on September 21st, 2023 at 02:12 pm
Getting ready for marriage or a relationship
Are you waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right? Are you in a relationship you want to improve? Perhaps you are getting ready for marriage or a relationship? You can learn more about how to create your best relationship.
The science of love helps us understand what is needed to have happiness in marriage or a relationship; the specific awarenesses, skills, and capacities that are required. Choosing to learn about what makes love work and applying yourself gives you a much better chance at a great relationship. As you learn, grow and change, you will attract a new kind of love.
Relationships have never been easy for me. The family I grew up in was stressful and infected by violence and abuse. I had little trust in others. And I didn’t have a relational skill set. I was afraid to stand up for myself. I didn’t know what I deserved. I was hungry for love, and that hunger drove me into and out of relationships.
After a series of significantly flawed relationships, I eventually did get married in my 30’s. I had fallen in love with a man who I felt was good, stable, and didn’t seem to have any alcohol or drug problems. He, of course, also grew up in a dysfunctional family and also had limited relational skills.
We hit roadblocks early. My husband saw me as nagging and weak. I saw him as judgmental and angry. We struggled for years. We didn’t have happiness in marriage.
One day I woke up and just knew. I was finished. It was time for me to move on.
We had gone to couples therapy for a number of years. I had been massively involved in therapy, therapy training, learning about myself, and changing. I was not the same person who married my husband 11 years previously.
This very challenging relationship was part of the catalyst that caused me to grow – to outgrow, actually, that marriage. Without my difficult relational beginning, and without the struggles of my subsequent relationships, including that marriage, I would not have developed my relational knowledge and skill set. There would have been no reason to learn and change.
Those difficult beginnings and the pain I experienced in relationship to others, caused me to dig deep. I wanted more. I was not willing to accept less than a supportive, wonderful and deeply loving relationship.
Eventually, I remarried. My second marriage is entirely different from my first marriage. It is supportive, happy, secure, fun, with good emotional connection.
The Magic Cake
My 2015 book, The Magic Cake: The Seven Ingredients of a Relationship-Ready Person takes much of what I learned on my quest to be a fully relationship ready person – and puts it in an easy to read and understand book.
I share with you my struggles and insights. You’ll learn about how people sabotage their relationships. You will learn how people can move out of these self-defeating behaviors and into a fulfilling relationship or marriage.
You’ll learn about each of the 7 essential ingredients of a person who is ready for a satisfying relationship or ready for marriage, and how to actualize them.
These ingredients are:
Without the development of these qualities, you will most likely struggle in your relationships or marriage. These qualities will change your ability and your partner’s ability to have a fulfilling relationship.
In The Magic Cake, you will be guided to determine what you need. I’ll help you learn to create a new vision and to set a new intention and support it as you grow. You will explore where your wounds and challenges are. I’ll help you with self-evaluation, so you know what you need to tackle. You will learn the how to’s of developing each ingredient in yourself, and what to look for in a partner. There are exercises to help you actualize your vision. You will be ready for marriage, or a new relationship, and the fulfillment of love.
A map guides us on a journey. The Magic Cake will guide you on your journey to the relationship of your dreams.
For more relationship and marriage insights, check out some of my other articles. Here is Intimacy in Marriage: Building Better Intimacy.
For even more resources, you can take a look at the top 100 relationship blogs here.
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