Difficulty with Vulnerable Feelings What do you do when you are disappointed with your partner? Specifically, what we do when we are disappointed in our partners reveals our difficulties with our vulnerable feelings. These include feeling hurt, abandoned, sad, guilty, ashamed, and fragile. What we do (our behavior) when we are disappointed, hurt, or feel […]
Being a doormat means we in a relationship we are the one who gets stepped on. We are the one who is just there, without needs.
Self Support Helps Our Parenting How does a solid supportive relationship help our children? What happens to our children when our relationships are stressed. How do we get the support we need so we can be better parents? What are some positive parenting solutions? I watched The Quiet Girl recently. It was a beautiful […]
Relational intelligence (RQ) Is More Than Emotional Intelligence My History I grew up in a household with anger issues, boundary issues, and many conflicts. We weren’t a family of healthy relationships. I wasn’t, for example, allowed to express my opinion if it differed from my father’s. And I was timid and cared for other people’s […]
WeConcile is a tool for living. You can immediately change your focus, and calm your swirling mind or your intense emotions. You can engage your thinking brain and gain new skills. You can learn and evaluate what needs to change and how to do it. Imagine a world of relational learning and tools at your fingertips. Imagine access to the science of love and information that the greatest minds in psychology have discovered and made available.
Wounds, Triggers (and Attachment Needs) The following short 90-second video is one of my favorites of those I’ve done recently – because it clearly outlines why we get upset and what we must understand to reduce conflict. It addresses one of the keys to fixing a relationship: understanding our attachment needs, how they relate to […]
WeConcile is not only the best relationship app, it is a tool for living. You can immediately change your focus, calm your swirling mind or your intense emotions. You can engage your thinking brain and gain new skills. You can learn and evaluate what needs to change and how to do it. Imagine a world of relational learning and tools at your fingertips. Imagine access to the science of love and information that the greatest minds in psychology have discovered and made available.
We’ve all lost our shit. Yelled, screamed, slammed doors, or simply shut down, mute and immobile. Frozen in fear and uncertainty, or trapped in placating to keep the peace.
We don’t start as little children wanting to be abusers. We often don’t even like how it feels to abuse. But somehow, somewhere, something happened.
Masculinity is often identified with strength, courage, independence, leadership, power, and assertiveness. But built into that style of masculinity is fragility.
Are you in a jealous relationship? Jealousy is a feeling that often comes with specific actions.Learn what it is and how to repair it.
Getting upset is part of every relationship. It is important to learn how to get through these upset times, especially until we develop the skills that allow us to resolve our conflict quickly and easily.
When I was a teenager, I threw a hammer at my sister, narrowly missing her head. Now, all these years later, I cannot remember what we were fighting about. What I do know is that when I was younger, I had terrible wounds. These wounds, such as feelings of being ignored, pushed around, not heard, not cared about, etc., caused me to at times to erupt.
Loving kindness is incredibly important in our relationships. It means we have an active interest in others, we are friendly and open hearted. We have good will and want the best for our partner and others.
The last thing we want in a relationship or marriage is to feel abused. We want to know we are valued and important. We want love. Learn the why’s of abuse in a relationship and the fixes.
You met the one. Dating was exciting. Getting engaged filled you with hope. You planned and survived a wedding. You may have children, young or grown. Early in your relationship, you imagined a future filled with the bliss you felt when you first met. But something went wrong. You feel wounded, resentful, not fully trusting. […]
I am having problems in a relationship. I recently moved in with my partner, and our relationship was going well. We got into a fight, and then all of a sudden, it felt like it was over. I am confused. How does someone go from hot to cold so quickly? I feel angry and scared. I feel abandoned. And I can’t find a way to talk about my feelings with him. He is so defensive and just keeps explaining and rationalizing. He isn’t able to hear me. What is going on? What should I do?
How do we make love, not war? All couples are in each other’s care…whether they know it or not. Unfortunately, couples often struggle with this basic principle of creating a happy relationship. Why? What is going on? Andy and Dot Let’s take an example. Dot and Andy are moving in together. They are both successful […]
Sometimes we meet the right person at the wrong time. I met Joe 10 years before my first marriage. We spent about 2 years together. I didn’t have the tools I needed at that time. I needed more experiences, more disappointments, and more lessons before I would be ready to commit to working through the […]
You are your partner are struggling. You don’t understand what is happening or why you keep getting stuck, having seemingly the same fight over and over. You love each other, but your relationship isn’t flowing. You want to learn how to improve communication skills so you can solve this problem. You can learn about attachment […]
We often don’t realize the power we have to improve our lives. Learning more about our attachment style gives us tools to enable us to understand more about how our minds work. Understanding attachment helps us understand how we relate and how we’ve learned to cope with relationship stress and, ultimately, how we are wired. An attachment style quiz or WeConcile’s relationship quality quiz can help us get started. (You’ll find links later in this article.)