Putting Up With Too Much? Stop Being A Doormat
Being a doormat means we in a relationship we are the one who gets stepped on. We are the one who is just there, without needs.
Wounds
Secure Attachment – How to Create It
Wounds, Triggers (and Attachment Needs) The following short 90-second video is one of my favorites of those I’ve done recently – because it clearly outlines why we get upset and what we must understand to reduce conflict. It addresses one of the keys to fixing a relationship: understanding our attachment needs, how they relate to […]
When Masculinity Is Fragile. When It Is Not.
Masculinity is often identified with strength, courage, independence, leadership, power, and assertiveness. But built into that style of masculinity is fragility.
Loving Kindness in a Relationship
When I was a teenager, I threw a hammer at my sister, narrowly missing her head. Now, all these years later, I cannot remember what we were fighting about. What I do know is that when I was younger, I had terrible wounds. These wounds, such as feelings of being ignored, pushed around, not heard, not cared about, etc., caused me to at times to erupt.
Loving kindness is incredibly important in our relationships. It means we have an active interest in others, we are friendly and open hearted. We have good will and want the best for our partner and others.
Abuse in Relationships – Reasons and Fixes
The last thing we want in a relationship or marriage is to feel abused. We want to know we are valued and important. We want love. Learn the why’s of abuse in a relationship and the fixes.
Learn the Keys to a Happy Marriage
You met the one. Dating was exciting. Getting engaged filled you with hope. You planned and survived a wedding. You may have children, young or grown. Early in your relationship, you imagined a future filled with the bliss you felt when you first met. But something went wrong. You feel wounded, resentful, not fully trusting. […]
Problems in a Relationship – Hot to Cold
I am having problems in a relationship. I recently moved in with my partner, and our relationship was going well. We got into a fight, and then all of a sudden, it felt like it was over. I am confused. How does someone go from hot to cold so quickly? I feel angry and scared. I feel abandoned. And I can’t find a way to talk about my feelings with him. He is so defensive and just keeps explaining and rationalizing. He isn’t able to hear me. What is going on? What should I do?
Suicidality or Depression in Relationships
Relationship problems and depression in relationships contribute to suicidality. Our need to be loved and cared for is so great, that when we feel that our relationship is falling apart, or we feel abandoned, the stress we experience can push us towards desperation and sometimes depression and suicide. We don’t always feel we can live without our connection to our partner.
How to Save Your Marriage
You can learn how to save your marriage whether your partner is willing to work on your marriage or not.
Learning to Reconnect
It had started like a regular day weekend day. John and Patti were taking a walk. The sun was shining. Life was good. But then, John sheepishly told Patti that he would not be working on a project they had told Patti he was going to do, and that had been planned for that weekend.
Reactivity & Safety in Relationships: The Issue with Emotional Intensity
How many times have we begun a relationship, full of hope, only to have it crash and burn, or one party flee?