Difficulty with Vulnerable Feelings What do you do when you are disappointed with your partner? Specifically, what we do when we are disappointed in our partners reveals our difficulties with our vulnerable feelings. These include feeling hurt, abandoned, sad, guilty, ashamed, and fragile. What we do (our behavior) when we are disappointed, hurt, or feel […]
Being a doormat means we in a relationship we are the one who gets stepped on. We are the one who is just there, without needs.
Relational intelligence (RQ) Is More Than Emotional Intelligence My History I grew up in a household with anger issues, boundary issues, and many conflicts. We weren’t a family of healthy relationships. I wasn’t, for example, allowed to express my opinion if it differed from my father’s. And I was timid and cared for other people’s […]
Wounds, Triggers (and Attachment Needs) The following short 90-second video is one of my favorites of those I’ve done recently – because it clearly outlines why we get upset and what we must understand to reduce conflict. It addresses one of the keys to fixing a relationship: understanding our attachment needs, how they relate to […]
WeConcile is not only the best relationship app, it is a tool for living. You can immediately change your focus, calm your swirling mind or your intense emotions. You can engage your thinking brain and gain new skills. You can learn and evaluate what needs to change and how to do it. Imagine a world of relational learning and tools at your fingertips. Imagine access to the science of love and information that the greatest minds in psychology have discovered and made available.
We’ve all lost our shit. Yelled, screamed, slammed doors, or simply shut down, mute and immobile. Frozen in fear and uncertainty, or trapped in placating to keep the peace.
We don’t start as little children wanting to be abusers. We often don’t even like how it feels to abuse. But somehow, somewhere, something happened.
When I was a teenager, I threw a hammer at my sister, narrowly missing her head. Now, all these years later, I cannot remember what we were fighting about. What I do know is that when I was younger, I had terrible wounds. These wounds, such as feelings of being ignored, pushed around, not heard, not cared about, etc., caused me to at times to erupt.
Loving kindness is incredibly important in our relationships. It means we have an active interest in others, we are friendly and open hearted. We have good will and want the best for our partner and others.
The last thing we want in a relationship or marriage is to feel abused. We want to know we are valued and important. We want love. Learn the why’s of abuse in a relationship and the fixes.
You met the one. Dating was exciting. Getting engaged filled you with hope. You planned and survived a wedding. You may have children, young or grown. Early in your relationship, you imagined a future filled with the bliss you felt when you first met. But something went wrong. You feel wounded, resentful, not fully trusting. […]
I am having problems in a relationship. I recently moved in with my partner, and our relationship was going well. We got into a fight, and then all of a sudden, it felt like it was over. I am confused. How does someone go from hot to cold so quickly? I feel angry and scared. I feel abandoned. And I can’t find a way to talk about my feelings with him. He is so defensive and just keeps explaining and rationalizing. He isn’t able to hear me. What is going on? What should I do?
You are your partner are struggling. You don’t understand what is happening or why you keep getting stuck, having seemingly the same fight over and over. You love each other, but your relationship isn’t flowing. You want to learn how to improve communication skills so you can solve this problem. You can learn about attachment […]
We often don’t realize the power we have to improve our lives. Learning more about our attachment style gives us tools to enable us to understand more about how our minds work. Understanding attachment helps us understand how we relate and how we’ve learned to cope with relationship stress and, ultimately, how we are wired. An attachment style quiz or WeConcile’s relationship quality quiz can help us get started. (You’ll find links later in this article.)
Arguing in a relationship, fighting in a relationship, or having conflict in a relationship are painful roadblocks to connection. Yet, as we learn to understand what drives our conflict, we can change how we relate and open new paths of growth between us.
Self care is an essential element of psychological health and impacts relationships. We’ll be looking at some ideas for self care using self awareness.
Relationship problems and depression in relationships contribute to suicidality. Our need to be loved and cared for is so great, that when we feel that our relationship is falling apart, or we feel abandoned, the stress we experience can push us towards desperation and sometimes depression and suicide. We don’t always feel we can live without our connection to our partner.
Infidelity is devastating to a relationship and makes a relationship emotionally unsafe for the person who has been cheated upon. Here is a roadmap to surviving infidelity.
You can use this step by step guide to help you build your relationship.
You can learn how to save your marriage whether your partner is willing to work on your marriage or not.
Learning how to trust ourselves is part of creating trust in a relationship.