It is always preferable to work on your relationship with your partner.
However, sometimes that isn’t the case. Your partner may have issues that cause you to have to work on the relationship yourself. Perhaps they have too much shame to look inside. Or they might have an addiction issue. Or they might be narcissistic and think it is your problem, not a relational problem. They might have a defensive structure that causes them to withdraw and not want to be part of the solution. If any of these issues is the case, you can still work on your relationship and yourself. For example, you can:
- Work on your own reactions and minimize them.
- You can learn how to communicate more clearly.
- You can develop more relationships with friends outside of your romantic relationship.
- You can do your best to understand why are you being impacted as you are by your partner’s behavior.
- You can start individual therapy.
- You can start a 12-step program.
- You can read books on relationships.
- You can join a group that helps people with their relationships.
- You can learn about attachment theory and how it impacts your relationship.
- You can practice being the best partner you can be.
- You can practice self-care and take care of yourself.
- You can find more areas in your life that are fulfilling that are outside of your relationship.
Even one person working on a relationship and/or themselves can help it improve.
Should your relationship end, you will have a set of tools to bring into your next relationship. The more you learn and grow in this area, the more successful you will be in any relationship.
WeConcile helps motivated couples and individuals to improve trust, intimacy, safety, and connection through established relationship science.
Whether you’re married or not, whether your partner participates or not, WeConcile can help you deepen your relationship.
Find out more at WeConcile.com.